Lord,Let my Heart be in peace...

...When I want to pretend everything is fine, I close my eyes and think of something really peaceful and pretty....But,LESBEHONEST! Things are running kind of wild. I have so much faith in GOD, so I am not complaining and saying I do not trust him or believe in him. However, everything that is going on has my head spinning and I need to get it out! First off, My mother is a joke. I just always wanted a mom I could look up to and be proud of and be able to depend on! However, she is the total opposite. Never took care or me, wont stop drinking and smoking and this lady ALWAYS thinks she is right. Did i mention selfish and do not act anything like a MOTHER? Cant ask her for 5 dollars, but she got money to get her hair done.Aint got no JOB, but your bills paid? --->On to the next! FSU Tripping w/ this financial aid! B/c I didnt come in the fall semester I can ONLY get my pell grant and a loan..WTF? man, Im not with it. Gotta get with it tho lol. Im aggravated cause it took me FOREVER to find a decent job. Now that I do have the job, these people are taking a thousand  years to let me go to orientation! UGHHH! I am broker than you could imagine. Bank account over drafted to THE MAX  :-( no money n my purse, no money in my room and my phone bill is a month past due! I dont know how im going to pay for orientation at FSU if i dont start working soon. I mean the job pays every week but I need to actually start before i can get a check! and I need someone to take me! Man this not having a car thing is LAMMME! anywho besides that im okay. A lil aggravated. I want to get my phone number changed but I will have to pay for it. If i cant pay for the phone bill how can i pay to have my number changed? lmao! I am just sick of dudes I WISHED WOULD STOP CALLING ME AGES AGO, still calling. Dude let it go..But these thigngs are thigns I cant let get to me. JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND THINK OF SOMETHING PRETTY TO PRETEND THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE.

School....

I just completed my Associated Degree. I recently applied to Florida State University. I just found out the good news today tho. I GOT ACCEPTED! I am excited to be a year ahead. I am supposed to gradeuate college in 2012, but will finish in 2011! I have worked hard and I desreve it. I am ready to work hard, and I am happy God has blessed me w/ the opportunity! Little things have been trying to knock me down, but I think God was just making me stronger. Things dont always work out the way you want them to all the time but GOD is always right on time!! Im excited!

A start of things..

Just to give an overview of myself 

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I am the type of  person who advocates peace.I am all for self reliance. I am also a non-conformist. I believe in finding your own true path in life and not using other's path. I have been through alot of ups and down(mostly downs when i was younger). But i have risen above my past and I try to remain happy.I am not a person who wants or likes attention. I am a very smart and hardworking young lady. I am a VIRGIN,and I am proud that I have not conformed to the pressures of my peers. To be honest, its not that im waiting for a certain time. Its just that men are impatient and expect sex way too soon, and im not having it. Anyway.I looooove music.I enjoy school.I will be junior in college going into this fall 2009 semester! I have a huge family. One side which i care for dearly and to be honest I pitty the other side. My mother and I have communication problems and i honestly dont vibe with her like that. I think I am a jumble of different perspectives and im complicated yet so simple. I am fascinated with the peace of my own life as well as others. Sometimes i just sit and think for hours. It is amazing where ur mind will take you. Nothing in the world matters to me except my relationship w/ God, my sisters, family, my happiness. Im a hippie with out the sex and drugs lol. Just a normal girl who wants to be happy....Im pleased to share my thoughts with you....well i think i have shared enough on what kind of person I am. Somethings not mentioned will later be revealed. Im going to go now because I am at school(summer classes yay! ) <--please dont mistake the sarcasim. Im inbetween classes and I need to finish my science assignment for class at 1:30...I plan to use this as an online diary or something. So i dont care if no one reads it, just as long as I get my thougts out...PEACE.